Narcissism is on the rise. What if we learned how to deal with it?

Throughout the course of your life, you should have found at least one person who didn’t ever think of you unless they needed something from you. Someone has probably come to your mind by now. Someone who made you see that life isn’t all sunshine and flowers. Someone that made you realize that there are not even rainbows sometimes. That person who helped you understand that, even though it’s hard to accept, there really are people in this world willing to bring you down for their own benefit.

I’m writing about those people who don’t see anything else but themselves, those that lack empathy for others. Those people who need to be admired and validated to survive in this world. Those that think they are the centre of the universe even though they are too far from being so. Those with whom conversations turn out to be a constant “me, me, me”, and underestimate everything that has to do with you and your life. They are incapable of putting themselves in other people’s shoes. And not because they don’t want to, they just haven’t learned how to do so. They haven’t grown that way. And you may ask yourself: why would I want someone like that in my life? And I will say: “Only if it was that easy”. Let me tell you something: narcissistic people, we don’t see them coming. For now. Although not for a long time, they are lovely people in the beginning. The problem arises when they are no longer as nice and lovely. By then, they are usually too deep into your life already. By then, they have already a tiny little place in your heart, because they are good at making you think they care and are good for you. Let me give you some bad news: narcissism is on the rise. Want it or not, you will find approximately 5 to 10 people like that throughout your life (depending on how lucky you are), so… GET READY!

Now, what if we could identify narcissistic people before walking into the lion’s den? What if there were signals indicating danger? The so-called RED FLAGS we should look out for, because they exist! These are some of the characteristics of narcissistic people that could help you out:

1. They think the world revolves around them, having an exaggerated sense of self-importance.

2. They believe they are special and unique, and think they should only socialize with people of their same or higher level.

3. They need to be constantly admired, aiming to be the centre of attention at all times. They seek the validation of others through constantly getting their attention.

4. They are not good at accepting criticisms. Since they think everything they do is correct, they are incapable of accepting their errors. Everything that goes wrong is other people’s fault, not theirs.

5. They set unrealistic goals for themselves because they have an exaggerated perception of their own limits.

6. They lack empathy. They are not capable of putting themselves in other people’s shoes. Therefore, they don’t really care how others may feel as a consequence of their actions.

7. They underestimate others and only prioritize themselves in the conversations. They think other people are not as important or interesting. They usually think others are inferior to them.

Although them seem mentally strong people, all these traits and behaviors tell us the exact opposite: THEY NEED YOU more than you need them. Behind that brilliant and powerful image of themselves they portrait to the world, there’s a deep insecurity they try to deal with each and every day. Their lack of self-esteem is what makes them constantly seek everyone’s validation and is what leads them to act in certain ways. Whenever you realize you are dealing with this type of person, you will be left with two choices: confronting them or leaving. And regarding the first option… Why would we argue with them? They will not accept our opinion; they are always right. Why would we try to change them? Changing them is the same as trying to change the weather in London (spoiler: impossible). “Then, what option do I have left?” You may ask. Let me tell you that leaving is not always the incorrect decision. Sometimes, there are people who leave us with no other choice. And sometimes, it’s the smartest thing we can do to protect ourselves, our peace, and our mental wellbeing. Leaving from anywhere, anyone or anything that doesn’t let us live the way we want to live is okay. And it’s our choice. So do not feel bad for leaving someone behind, because life doesn’t wait for anyone. And it’s too short to live surrounded by people who stop us from being the best version of ourselves. And letting go is hard, but so important.

Don’t ever let anyone change your DNA. And remember that leaving, sometimes, is okay.

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